I love my school nurses – having four kids I almost feel I should have these poor ladies for Thanksgiving dinner to show my appreciation.
I thought the least I could do was give them a good laugh.
Dear Mrs. School Nurse,I am thinking it might be useful to begin using a "Gasparino Alert System" much like Homeland Security.
Let's call it *G.A.S.* for short.
This will statistically average out the chances of an actual Gasparino attending school or visiting the nurse on a single day.
This will replace the "Stuff on the Bus and Pray" system as it has been found to have too many flaws and be ineffective.Based on this system today would be a:
- Red = Gasparino actually sick and staying home
- Red Orange = Gasparino may or may not have - rashes/coughing/upchuck noises from bathroom ( possibly getting sick - but could be faking)
- Orange = Gasparino may have symptoms such as "my finger hurts" and "there's a red spot on my leg"
- Orange Yellow = Gasparino uses statements like "I didn't get any sleep my brother coughed on me all night" and "The racoon in the garbage kept me up"
- Yellow = Gasparino forgot lunch money at home
- Green = Gasparino Mother is going out within a 50 miles radius and is no way making that @*&%#$@ drive to pick any of them up today
*Red Orange* day (I was sick yesterday and am trying to get another day out of it subcategory)
Please let me know if you have any questions regarding this new system.
Yes it's all true and yes I sent it.
Nurses need to laugh too.
I am forever grateful to the brave ladies who man the front lines and deal with everything from a swallowed tooth to a diabetic coma and everything in between. They keep my kids safe...and most often they keep them in school!
Have you hugged your school nurse today?
You can learn more about Patty on her blog, My Life Under The Bus