Patty Gasparino: I Love My School Nurses

I love my school nurses – having four kids I almost feel I should have these poor ladies for Thanksgiving dinner to show my appreciation.

I thought the least I could do was give them a good laugh.

Dear Mrs. School Nurse,
I am thinking it might be useful to begin using a "Gasparino Alert System" much like Homeland Security. 
Let's call it *G.A.S.* for short.  
This will statistically average out the chances of an actual Gasparino attending school or visiting the nurse on a single day. 
This will replace the "Stuff on the Bus and Pray" system as it has been found to have too many flaws and be ineffective.
  • Red = Gasparino actually sick and staying home
  • Red Orange = Gasparino may or may not have - rashes/coughing/upchuck noises from bathroom ( possibly getting sick - but could be faking)
  • Orange = Gasparino may have symptoms such as "my finger hurts" and "there's a red spot on my leg"
  • Orange Yellow = Gasparino uses statements like "I didn't get any sleep my brother coughed on me all night" and "The racoon in the garbage kept me up"
  • Yellow = Gasparino forgot lunch money at home
  • Green = Gasparino Mother is going out within a 50 miles radius and is no way making that @*&%#$@ drive to pick any of them up today
 Based on this system today would be a:
 *Red Orange* day (I was sick yesterday and am trying to get another day out of it subcategory) 
 Please let me know if you have any questions regarding this new system.

 Patricia Gasparino 

Yes it's all true and yes I sent it.

Nurses need to laugh too.

 I am forever grateful to the brave ladies who man the front lines and deal with everything from a swallowed tooth to a diabetic coma and everything in between. They keep my kids safe...and most often they keep them in school!

Have you hugged your school nurse today? 
You can learn more about Patty on her blog, My Life Under The Bus


Patti Van said...

Your blog posts always guarantee a smile on my face!

My Life Under the Bus said...

Thanks Patty! XOXO

Kathy said...

I love our school nurse too! In fact, she put in so much time last year with my youngest that we decided to gift her with a piece of my jewelry at the end of the year. She was so grateful! But I told her that it is we who are the grateful ones!

Holly said...

Erin has just figured out the whole "School Nurse" phenomena. At five, I think I've got a problem...and will be hugging the school nurse in no time at all.

Gem Rose Designs said...

I love this post- although she a now living onn campus in her sophomore year of college, my daughter has been a Type I diabetic since she was a year old. So the school nurse was always like her second mother and the nurse's office a home away from home. And at times the school nurse was my personal counselor! So, Yes! I say I am have been and will always be grateful those hard-working women we call our school nurses!

somethingunique said...

Patty you are one amazing lady and i just love & respect you so much and you are frikin hilarious...thanks for the inspirations and laughs...ttfn Lana :) xoxo

somethingunique said...

p.s. i am grateful for you Patty :)

My Life Under the Bus said...

Aww Lana XOXO Thank You!

Anonymous said...

Patty, you are too funny and I'm sure that the school nurses needed the laugh, with all they deal with everyday. I'm grateful for you and your amazing sense of humor!

mairedodd said...

awesome post! makes me want to send one of those too... my fifteen yr old is famous for it being stomach related - he knows there is no way to test for nausea... excellent!

Malin de Koning said...

I'm all for good systems for all possible times and situations. And what you have shown us here today Patty, really is a perfect one!

(In fact I think my middle name could be System. Fancy that: Malin the System de Koning. Ha!)

Heather Powers said...

Oh yes, the school nurses were good friends when my kids were little. After about the 3rd visit one week they finally stopped calling every time my youngest wondered in suddenly sick now that is was time for P.E.!