Erin Praiz-Hintz: Love Lives On

Those we love are never really lost to us - we feel them in so many special ways- 

through friends they always cared about and dreams they left behind, in beauty that they added to our days... in words of wisdom we still carry with us and memories that never will be gone... Those we love are never really lost to us - For everywhere their special love lives on. 

~ A. Bradley 

Saturday, March 3rd was his 21st birthday. 

On Friday he shared this Facebook status: 

just 8 more hours until i can finally go to the bars!!! 

He met friends for drinks at the bars on the downtown Square at midnight. He left Joe’s Bar around 1:15 am. 

Dressed in a beanie and a flannel shirt, he headed north along the edge of the Wisconsin River toward Franklin Street to visit with some friends. 

He never made it there. 

Later, the friends reported that they heard someone shouting for help outside around the time of his disappearance. They rushed outside but found nothing. They lived right along the river’s edge. 

Friends and family put up fliers and canvassed the area. Red alert phone calls were made to the residents of this town. People went door to door and searched all properties in a two mile radius. Search and rescue dogs were on the hunt. Three very cold winter nights later not a trace of this ruggedly handsome young man with the red hair and glasses. 

My office is right on the Wisconsin River. I first heard the loud roar of the rotors at 8:30 am. I thought it was just an exercise that the police and fire departments were doing, as they have done many times before. But then I remembered the automated phone call that I received on Saturday from the Stevens Point Police Department. And the mention of this boy at our Newman University Parish on Sunday. This was no drill. 

Police spent this Monday morning dredging the banks of the river, chopping up the thin layer of ice with the rotors from the rescue boat. This is no rescue. This is a recovery. 

What once looked like a white blanket with the thin layer of snow is now an ice flow. I can see how thin the ice really is, barely holding up the weight of one duck. I can imagine how cold the water is, as the trained divers plunge into the depths with their special lighted goggles near the bridge outside my office. 

What should have been a celebration of a young man’s coming of age turned to tragedy. I just saw them pull a body bag out of the water and speed off in the boat. 

Eric Duffey was a 21 year old college student at the UW-Stevens Point. Police say that he likely was headed toward his friends’ house along the river and wandered off the path, breaking through the thin ice. Alcohol was most certainly a factor in cutting short this young man’s life. 

Eric was a young forestry major at UW-Stevens Point who just found out that he got a job with the US Fish and Wildlife service in North Dakota this summer. He wrote of his trip of a lifetime to Costa Rica in January. On his wall, he shared his recently inked compass rose tattoo with a four leaf clover to “remind myself to always to travel and try new things.” He most recently indicated that he was in a relationship with girlfriend Elly. 

Eric leaves behind loved ones. But he also left behind dreams, passion and promise. In an instant, the world has lost a bright light, a rising star. 

So why would I write about something as solemn as this for Grateful Living? 

When I was Eric’s age I took a lot of risks, many involving alcohol, thinking that nothing like this could happen to me. When I look back now I see how unbelievably lucky I was that I am still standing here today. I am grateful that my youthful exuberance did not turn to foolishness. I am grateful that on my 21st birthday in these same bars oh so long ago I chose to order a Diet Coke as my first drink, something my friends teased me about for years. 

I cannot imagine the heartbreak that Eric’s parents and friends are enduring right now. No parent should ever lose a child. But I hope that they will know that they are supported by a community that cared for Eric and was proud of his accomplishments. I am grateful that this young man touched so many others in his short life. I am grateful that he had a plan and he was living life to its fullest. I am grateful that our community could come together with a common goal, even if the outcome was not a happy one. 

My children are not at this age, but I realize that they will become adults far sooner than I would like. There are so many lessons that I have left to teach them. I will hug my kids a bit tighter tonight to will them not to rush into growing up so fast. I will remind them as the years go by and they get older of this day so that this sadness can be turned to a lesson to build on. I am grateful that I still have chances to share the lesson of this tragedy with them. I only hope that they will listen. Despite the tragedy, I am grateful that this young man was working to make the world a better place just by his being in it.

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You an learn more about Erin on her blog, Treasures Found

Erin Prais-Hintz: 10 Little Things That Make Me Happy

1. A pot of coffee with flavored creamer, especially Bailey's French Vanilla or the store brand of Cinamon Vanilla.

2. Finding money I forgot about in a pocket, like that $15 I just found, crisp and clean just out of the washer!

3. When someone holds a door open for me, particularly when I am juggling multiple packages.

4. Feeling the sunshine on my face and seeing blue sky peek through on a cold winter day.

5. A hug from my kids, the more spontaneous the better, and I don't want to let go.

6. Fresh sheets on my bed, and time to lie around in them.

7. Hearing from a friend, no matter the method - mail, text, email or phone call.

8. Beads of any kind - vintage, new, art beads, pearls, gemstones - anything that is unusual or unique.

9. Getting a package in the mail - particularly when it involves #8.

10. A kiss.

What about you? What little things make you happy?

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You can learn more about Erin on her blog, Treasures Found

Erin Praiz-Hintz: Change Your Words, Change Your World

What message are you sending to the world? 

Words have power. But we take that for granted. We tend to throw our words around with out a thought as to the effect that they might have. The words we use all add up to create our own unique message. We communicate with our choice of words in our emails and letters, our phone conversations, and our interactions with family and friends. Have you thought about how your words are defining you?

We have all been on the wrong end of words. Certain words can beat us down. Sometimes a poor choice of words has sent the wrong message.

But what about being inspired by words? We have all felt the raising up when words are spoken with the intent to lift us. Do you consider whether your words inspire or deflate?

Some words wound. Some words heal. Some words create. Others destroy. Words can instill fear or inspire joy. The words you choose do make a difference.

Today, consider the message that you are putting forth in the world. We are so connected these days that even if we live thousands of miles apart it sometimes feels like we are brushing elbows with our interconnectedness on the web. I have seen so many times where words online, in emails, Facebook, Twitter and blogs are misconstrued, misunderstood. 

There are no bad words. Only poor choices of words. Today I encourage you to think about the words that you use to communicate and what message they say about you.

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You can learn more about Erin on her blog, Treasures Found

Erin Prais-Hintz: A Standing Ovation

When I was out of college and embarking on my young married life, I had the wacky idea to try out for the local community theater. Now, I had never acted on stage, and I hadn't been in a choir since I was about 12, but I thought it was a fine thing for me to do. I was encouraged by the director who espoused that community theater should be made up of community members. You see, I had always harbored a silent desire to sing and act on stage. But I was terribly frightened by the thought. So since I reasoned that no one was going to encourage me to do this, I might as well encourage myself.

I tried out for a chorus part in “Annie Get Your Gun” and I got it. I had four costume changes, sang in the chorus on all the big numbers and uttered one word on stage: “Charmed.” Needless to say I milked it for all it was worth!

It was a wonderful experience. So wonderful that I decided the next year to try out again, but this time go for a part with a few more than one word.

And try out I did. For “Hello, Dolly.” And I got a part. THE part. I played the lead, Dolly Levi.

I went from speaking one word to speaking all the words! I had to quickly get over my angst about being on stage. The whole cast was counting on me. And I could not disappoint.

I admit that when the director offered me the lead I had a moment of disbelief followed by thoughts that I couldn't seriously do this. He assured me that I was the one that he wanted for the part. And after considering it, I realized that this was my big dream being handed to me. If I said no, I would regret it forever. And I might never get this opportunity again. So I did it. 

There were a lot of bumps along the way. It was 10 weeks of nightly rehearsals and choreography to learn. Miss Dolly spoke at a rapid fire pace, even while eating. I had to learn pages of dialogue and be able to fill the stage with my presence while singing many solos. I lost my voice 5 days before the curtain opened due to stress. I got it back just in time for the curtain to go up. I had 30 second costume changes every night just in the wings with everyone backstage getting quite a view. Once I got stuck in my lines while doing the dinner scene where the male lead and I were actually eating, but I eventually found the right words. It was terrifying and mesmerizing, nerve-wracking and exhilarating. It was one of the definitive moments of my life.

I will never forget the moment when the curtain first went up, singing the first notes, wearing the costumes, being backstage. But there is one moment from that experience that will stay with me forever. 

When I came out onto the catwalk around the orchestra pit, I passed by my cast mates to their reassuring pats on my back. I was relieved to have made it through the first of several performances. I made my way to center stage to take a gracious Dolly bow. The lights were bright and the spotlight was turned to me. But through the glare I realized that every single person in the theater was rising to their feet. My heart was fluttering as I bowed again and again. The feeling that all these people were there to cheer me on validated that I was meant to play that role even if I had not believed it when it was first offered. I have never felt so euphoric, so in the moment, so sure that I was where I was meant to be. 

This experience made me stronger by allowing me to trust my abilities and also trust that others have good judgment to see that thing in me that I might have trouble seeing myself. From that experience I came away with a renewed sense of self. And a firm conviction that every person needs at least one standing ovation in their lives.

What have you done that deserves a standing ovation?

Tell me about it and let me applaud you!

* (picture courtesy of marfis75 http://www.flickr.com/photos/marfis75/3272079115/in/photostream/ Creative Commons)

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You can learn more about Erin on her blog, Treasures Found

Erin Prais-Hintz: Unplugged

Being unplugged is a bad thing.

My computer came down with a nasty virus. I have been without a computer for 9 days and counting. I took it to the 'doctor' and was told it might be another week before I will get it back. I am now scouring the Black Friday ads for great deals on laptops with a whole new vigor and sense of purpose.

If the treatment went well, I will have what amounts to a newborn baby with its memory erased, its hard drive reset at zero. I will have to teach it all over again how to process my photos and store my life's work and how to talk to the wireless printer and even how to connect to the internet. I will have to reintroduce all the programs that I have come to depend on, but I will likely weed out what is not necessary. My biggest fear is that I could lose all of my stored memories on the second drive that I have in there. Keep your fingers crossed for me that my baby will survive (or that Santa will send me a laptop - tell him I have been extra good this year!).

I never knew how connected I was until I lost the ability to stay in touch.

In this day and age when our gadgets are as dear to us as a limb and sometimes replace some of our senses, it is strange to be without. I feel a bit twitchy sometimes when I think of the things that I might be missing. I am not talking about keeping up with the Kardashians, or watching the next YouTube phenomenon. I long to get back online and reconnect with those friends far and wide that I am missing, to write on my own blog, to resume business as usual. It also makes me wonder if people miss me or maybe they have forgotten about me in these few days of silence. That is the danger of this too-connected world. Miss a day and it is like missing a month.

Despite the inconveniences, I have been grateful for this chance to unplug, even if it was unplanned and uncomfortable at times. I have been reading a book. I have spent time cuddling with my daughter. I have gone to bed earlier.

I will be happy to have my computer back. And it will still take me time to teach that old model new tricks. But it might make me rethink how connected I really need to be to those that aren't right here in front of me.

Maybe being unplugged is a good thing.

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You can learn more about Erin on her blog, Treasures Found